Addiction

I have an addiction. I bought this game last week, because a friend told me I would like it. Well, I do. Since buying it; what last sat, I have played it constantly. I've played till like 6 am since I've bought it. Is that crazy or what. I wake up and start playing, and thats it. Its an online game so its fun, and there are always people playing. Damn though, I don't do anything. I actually don't want to do anything, but play. I don't even want to go out drinking lol. All of my time is consumed in this damn game. Damit, I hate the game, but love it. Damn game.

Oh hum

You know its one of those days. Things don't go your way. You feel like crap. Nothing seems to be going for you. I hate those days. Whatever happened to those days where things were simpler. I guess that was in preschool. But now things are different, you have to take care of yourself, do everything yourself, be a grown up. I don't want to be a grown up anymore. I want to be a kid again. I want to play with GI Joes and transformers. I want life to be like it was simpler.

I don't want to deal with bills or think about ex's. I don't want to think about what I can and can't eat, because I may get fat. I don't want to go the gym. I don't want to worry about a job. I don't want to do anything. I want to sleep, and sleep till a new millenium. Is that possible?

I want to find meaning in everything that I do. I want to be a better person. I want to be happy, but lately all I'am is sad and down. Its a struggle, and I can't seem to pull myself up. I hate it so much. Uggghhhh... Why O why, life is just so blah. I just need to get back into a normal groove or something. I need to stop thinking about my past. I need to try and get out of this rut. I need to think of what is and not what was. Hope for the future that it will be great, and that maybe things will make a full circle for me. That is what I will hope for. The future...Salute to the future, and what make come...Hope

One of those days

Have you ever had one of those days. One of those days where you reminisce. It was so sunny a few days ago, and all I could do was dream and reminisce. Its funny how that works. I think of old times and what I would do. I'm writing in a blog that is just, to express my words out to the void. No one really knows of it, but one. But I doubt she ever visits it. I mean its not like I write in it a lot. In fact its been a while since my recent post that I have even touched it. But I guess I just feel like writing today.

It would be nice to be able to talk with someone. Maybe we will call her E, or maybe Y. But whatever, that doesn't matter. I guess I really do miss her. Talking to her, hanging out with her. I can't call cause she doesn't respond, and I know she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I'm sad and think about her constantly. I guess it just one of those days.